30 July 2011

BMTH- Pray For Plagues because that's how angry I am.
I just had a massive fight with my mum, I freaking hate fighting with her. It's like I'm talking to a wall. She doesn't understand anything, nothing I say makes sense to her. I think my teenage hormones are ON or something, but I've been really really moody lately. I just want to punch people in their face. I'm so annoyed with them and then after I'm really mean to them I feel horrible and awful, but like I just tried to apologise to my mum but she said she doesn't want to see me. This is like the first time ever she has said that to me ;oo Also I have been feeling very uninterested in life. Whatever it is that I do, I always feel like being somewhere else doing something else. like sleeping. Sometimes I just feel like staying under my duvet the whole day, because sometimes I'm just not bothered. So much effort, what to wear, what to do with your hair, make up and shit.
By the way I'm flying to Latvia on the 8th August again on my own. Flying back on the 22nd August just before my GCSE results.

Today was quite fun to be honest. We went to the Bute Park and it was very empty because it was very cloudy the whole day. We went in between these huge trees and had a barbecue. I'll put up the pictures some day soon, because they're still on my film (: Buyt it was very nice. later on me and Caitlin and Josephine went to look for wellies in town and then we went cinema with Alika. That's about it. I feel sorry for the boys because they were following us because they thought we're gonna come&smoke shisha with them but we didn't, so they kind of wasted their time with us :/
Talking about films and shit, I need to get loads for Latvia.
Talking about Latvia woo i can't wait. Plus I can just make it to the Big Weekend yey.
bye guys, dont be mean

 This picture is form Josie's sleepover. We slept in a tent. I'll put up more later. This is a phone picture btw.

25 July 2011


i dont know what to do, write songs, sleep, scream a song, watch a movie, run around, just look at my sad face in my web cam, go hug my mum, call my friend or do something bad.
need to keep myself busy, i have bored face picture. do you want it? yeah, ok i'll put it up.
what should i do
i'm gonna listen to music until i fall asleep.
im a weirdo why am i on here

i am feeling unusually cold and shaky hehe.
i need a break from this blog, its like a ghost following me around

21 July 2011


17th of july

yeah i'm fine, thanks

17 July 2011


I just made this incredibly long post and then deleted it. xD It was basically me bitching about people because they got me feeling little bit annoyed but ha.Whatever man, I'm over it. I don't like bitching anyway, whats the point. You can just tell them anyway, or they'll find out. Plus it makes you a smaller person.
Holly, l hate that you dyed your hair blue the same way as mine. But what can you do haha xD By the way I think it actually looks very nice, and things <3  I really do think you look pretty with blue hair. Well, Never mind. When I use all of the blue hair dye that's left in the bottle, I'll get a pink one and my fringe is gonna be pink <3 HEHE, Summer is affecting me, I just want to get millions of layers in my hair and dye it every possible colour. But I won't because it's out of my league.
I'm a bit tired. Last night was weird. I went to bed at 12pm and woke up at 2am. And then I couldn't sleep so I went downstairs and watched Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince until 5am and then I went on my laptop until 6am. I was pretty sleepy by then so I went back to bed. Today has been really lazy, I had a bath and I washed my hair and I watched a movie and I slept lots.
I want to see Harry Potter, so I'm going tomorrow with Peter because he really wants to go and see it. 
Bye <333333

14 July 2011

give me a book

OMFG I'm craving a good book! I've got so many books that I've started reading but I never manage to finish.
So the ones I've started:
Pride, Prejudice and Zombies
Hush Hush
Breaking Dawn (way too long, and slow and movie's coming out soon anyway)
The Hunger Games
Invisible River
Star Wars

yeah and thats it. haha loads. They're all supernatural except the Invisible river and the hunger games, although that's kind of fantasy too..

13 July 2011


I'm going to do yoga, because apparently it helps you grow taller naturally xD  I really really hate my height it's all wrong. I lived my whole childhood in hopes of being 6 and something' tall one day (they were high hopes, my mother told me every season ''you'll stretch'' and when I asked when she said ''Next season'') And so I waited and waited and it's just not happening LOL
I don't know what else to say... I hate ants.
Oh yesterday I finally talked to Denija on skype, it was so funny. I don't remember what exactly but I was close to tears. The men in Paris are annoying, she said that every day there is at least on OLD guy walking up to her and talking to her. A week ago this 35 year old sat next to her on a bench in a park, and he started kissing her on cheeks and he put his arm around her and I think she almost got a heart attack xD And then some men just join her on her way to wherever she's going, like they just see her walking and they're probably like 'oh she's pretty, gonna walk her to the metro xD'
Ohhh, I wish I hadn't met my best friends one year before coming to the UK. Because I've never really had anyone who I could trust, like I can trust them (Denija and Tereze) and it's annoying because it's hard to find good friends. You literally fall in love with them and then have to let them go. Shityy. Same here in UK, Batoul was kind of my only friend and she left. I hate attaching to people, because I know there'll be a day when we're gonna have to say goodbye's
Ok, I'm starting to feel a little sad. You can never know where these posts will lead you. I usually start off by saying something really unimportant and then one thought leads to another and there you go, you'll have something to read xD
I was kind of looking forward to yoga but I'm not in the mood. OMFG I can't believe I was gonna do yoga?! What, am I crazy. ahh there you go,im getting weird all over again.

10 July 2011

it's never too late for your imagination

Today was another very boring day, say thanks to Mr TV. I can't remember a thing that I've done today except watch 'The Runaways' and lots of 'Gilmore Girls' haha. Oh and I think I spent around 3 hours on tumblr. haha  I wanna watch that movie, um. Wait.. Yeah, it's called 'Spotless mind of the eternal sunshine' I love it, its awesome. And her (Clementine's ) hair is also blue at one point haha. It took me around two/three times of watching it, to finally get it xD
It has some good quotes in it:

-I loved you on this day. I love this memory.

-I'm always anxious thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest, you know? Taking advantage of every possibility? Just making sure that I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have.

-...you stop listening to what is true, and what is true is constantly changing.

-I apply my personality in a paste.

09 July 2011

12 and 13

wooo, my day was soo boring. I think people went to the food fest in cardiff bay, but I don;t know about that...So like I said my day kinda sucked.
Basically what happened today was, I woke up and looked around the room. At first I didn't get where I was and how the hell I got there and then it all slowly came to me. I'm in my living room, and this sofa really sucks and my but hurts and why am i awake at 9am haha xD But yeah, I went to sleep downstairs because there were bloodsuckers in my room, and they all decided to suck my blood out of my neck.
I got ready and left my house 11ish and I finally went to the charity shop to volunteer. WOO. And then I went all around shops and things, looking for the perfect pink 'barbie' dress and i didn't find anything xD I was exhausted and just gave up. And sooo, I went to Blue Banana and got myself a blue hair dye haha. I went home and literally ran upstairs got the dye, dyed my hair, showered, washed my hair and almost started crying xD it was soo.... blue :D And then Sep called and I was gonna go over his house to Newport but my mum had changed her opinion about it. In her mind me+boy=rape. I'm actually being serious. Whenever I'm going out and there are boys, I can see it in her face, she thinks I'm gonna get either kidnapped or raped, it's kind of getting on my nerves, but well, whatever. I got to stay home and chilllaxxx Ha, I didn't do anything, just watched Friends on TV, because now I have Virgin fucking Media and I have crappy channels and nothing at all to watch xD 
Ohh by the way, I found a pink dress! In my own closet! I was so shocked, but yes I do remember it. It's the 'criminal damage' one. I guess I'm going to have to wear that. Josie's birthday is going to be really fun. It's pink themed and woo its gonna be amazing. I'm going to buy her a present sometime this week. I think I might know exactly where to go ^_^
Oh, I just asked my mum why she always has that feeling when I'm with boys and she said that her best friend got raped by 4 boys :oo that is just... wow. awful awful awful. I dont know what to say. I guess I really don't know anything about my mum's past. Or her friends. Or her youth. Or nothing. I'm very curious.
oh myyy, I didn't have anything to do for the rest of the day, so i took some pictures of my brand new freak head, to keep you up-to-date my blog whaaalllaahhh


08 July 2011

friday morning

hey >_<
Watchin Simpsons and drinking tea, once again. I'm starting to think every single morning of this summer is going to be the same haha. ohh, I just remembered. Do you want the pictures from my bbq? Because I didn't put any up.
 Oh I'll put them up latersss , xxx

07 July 2011

you're hiding under my bed

uugh it's really weird, writing on this laptop, I'm really used to my own. The buttons on my mum's laptop are spread out, and I'm making hundreds of mistakes haha.
I'm watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, It's one of my favourite parts. I can't wait to see the last movie, it's going to be so good. ahh, You know what I miss? When I was 12 and 13, I went to a Harry Potter summer camp, it was soooo fun xD I used to like LOVE harry potter. I had two shirts haha.
Oh I never had a chance to tell you how fun my bbq/sleepover was. Well, it was amazing. Although next time I want it to be a little bit cosier, I just want to sit in a pile of cushions, smoke shisha, look at stars, talk about life with my friends and hold Sep's hand. That would be perfect. But it was amazing anyway. Boys got really annoyed when we started the waterfight. But it was sooo fun. Although I kinda got hit in the face and got a nosebleed xD and then I locked myself in my bedroom with two tampons in my nose and i just waited for it to stop. I looked too weird to show my face haha. That night I got another three nosebleeds, and Josie got two.
Me, Josie, Alika and Tia just talked all night long on my trampoline. And then it started to get light and I was SO SUPER excited about the sunrise omg xD You wouldn't believe. But yeah. Later Arman joined us on the trampoline. Maddie and Sep were watching Lizzie Mc'Guire inside, haha they are so cute. >_< I can't believe they were best friends. Their personalities suit each other a lot, so I'm not surprised they were best friends. They made this funny dub step song too, haha it's hilarious. But yeah, everything was lovely. Later they came out and joined us on the trampoline and Charlie came too. So.. there you go. All of us lied on my broken trampoline, squashed and sweaty but yet happy and warm.

I went out with Sep today, woo. It's just I felt really crappy. When I woke up, my mood was like. Really bad, I complained about EVERYTHING, and my mum was like 'whats wrong, whats wrong?' ahhhwww, well I was just having one of those awful days when everything seems awful and stupid and weird and my head hurts, and i have a fever xD I wish I wasn't so awful today. But anyway, me and Sep went cinema to see 'Bad Teacher'. And then we walked down to Hilton and I walked him to his bus stop and cached a 45 myself. By the time I got home I felt a lot better and decided that I'll go and smoke shisha rather than stay home and do nothing. So I changed my clothes, yh haha I change them like 3 times a day, and went down to the City Road and this time it was just girls, Me, Caitlin, Josie and Alika. It was really nice, we just chilled and talked about summer. Yay they're going to the Relentless Brodmasters (dude, it think that's how you call it xD) and that is like the ONLY festival I wanted to go to, this summer. I cannot believe they're going. haha I was like 'There's this cool festival in Cornwall... blah blah... we should go.' and they were like 'yess we already have tickets xD''
omfg this post is so long haha :L
Ohhh Kane's mum rang me today and she  told me that I'm going to haave my first photoshoot next weekend, It think. She said she'd meet up with me to have coffee (haha my first ever 'business' coffee) and we'll talk over it. I think I'm gonna have to take pictures in this event... I dunno, but she said that she'd tell me more later.

Aww, I've missed like half of the Harry Potter, gonna rewind it now. 
Here's some picturesss yo guys. they're crappt tho, because they're phone photos. bye :) xx

03 July 2011

cool. hi (:

Hey, I'm sorry I can't reply to any of the comments i get :( My blog doesn't let me, it's so annoying. But I wanna say thanks to the people who bother coming here and reading my life >_< although it's been kind of boring and sad before things are looking up, in every possible way. And thank you Laima altho I don't know you, you know all my darkk secrets and you're amazing. I'm so glad you like my picturesssss <33 I'll keep taking them.
Ohh by the way speaking of pictures. My brother Pete was staying over his friend's Kane's house last night and Kane's mum dropped Peter off at home today and she was like 'What are you gonna study next year?' and I was like 'Ohh well, Media, Photography and Art.' And she was like 'AWWWWW, HIGH FIVE!!! I'm a photographer/artist too, and I had an exhibition today! What a coincidence, I wish I'd knew you before, you could have come!'' haha and she said she might use me as her assistant for the summer and help develop my portfolio (i was saying a bit ago that I will be making on throughout the summer)  and  i was like... So happpyyyy >_< WOOSH
You wouldn't believe how excited I am for the bbq tomorrow. I'm gonna go decorate my garden with lights now, haha. It's like 10 and it's dark but I wanna know how it looks in dark.
So tomorrow I will go BBQ shopping with my mum in the morning and later on I'm meeting everyone in town. okayy. I miss Batoul, I wish she was coming to my bbq :( 
Everyone whom I invited is coming! I mean, I thought nobody would want to come but somehow everyone is attending. Where are we going to sleep? haha there will be 12 of us. We can sleep on top of each other haha xD that would work. But no, I have a big living room and I wanna sleep  outside under clear sky anyway. So who wants can come with me on my trampoline. But i think it might be a bit too cold xD

i washed my hair and i'm feeling high

Aw I need to go to Tesco, I need to buy beer and snacks and burgers and sausages for tomorrow's bbq. By the way I had a horrrible dream, that everyone came down mine a day early and i was telling everyone to go home but they, like, didn't hear me. And then I was really loud, and someone (can't remember who, I think it was Josie :D ) said to me 'But it is monday'. And then there was this little river right in my garden and it started to rain and everything flooded. Plus on top of all I wasn't prepared at all, I mean no food, no music, nothing. They just sat in the middle of my garden in a cosy circle and I was left out :D so weird.
Oh I went to Newport yesterday with Sepp, and he showed me around (you wouldn't believe me haha, I've never been to Newport :D). We walked down the main street and then other... main streets. : D And oh meeen, then we got tired and we sat on the grass under a tree because it was so hot outside. And then we went to the, um, park. I can't remember its name. And we sat under a tree again, and it was fun, but I annoyed him because I wasn't showing him the pictures on my phone and... Then some two random drunk guys were walking past and shouting stuff so we just walked down to the big Tesco express and Mc'Donalds, in which i didn't eat anything. Again, because I', a veggie. Oh no Sep got me a Mc'Flurry- smarties.
And then a bit later I got to meet Sep's friends. They were really nice but um, I didn't speak much.. I don't know why. I just never speak straight away, because I'm... Just weird that way haha. But they were really nice. I'm so crap at remembering names though :D I remember two people's names out of what's it... Four. xD I'm crap.
OMG haha, my nose started bleeding yesterday when we were waiting for Davie. I hate nosebleeds, whenever the sun comes out my nose starts bleeding...
I have to... Shave the grass today. Ups i meant, like to cut the grass...I don't think that's how you call it though. Damn, well you know what i mean. And I want to play my guitar loads. Aw I'm so sleepy. I drunk my tea in like 5 seconds. I need to buy new shoes cuz i made a hole in my blue ones, and my evey pair of converse also has holes, fuck this xD

01 July 2011

Aww, I'm so energetic >_<
I spent the whole day down Arman's house with Sep. We just chilled and cuddled each other and he played Arman's electric guitar. Arman was playing his xbox the whole time : D I came back home from his house about an hour ago and I jumped straight on the sofa with my guitar. I was listening to Sep play the whole day and I really wanted to play too, just not in front of him. Haha. Anyway I had a vegetable pizza, just now. Yum.
umm. I don't know what to say... No really, this is the first time ever when I don't have anything to say here :o oh my battery is dying, so i'm gonna post this. Bye :)