Some Found Instagram Photos From ADKT

Just some photos I found on Peter's phone, of my instagram edits of that fashion shoot we did. 

The Memories Haunt Me and I'm Scared To Forget It All: photographs

I needed/wanted to upload some of the work i have been creating recently, so instead of babbling on about my life I'll just put up some of the pictures. The first series are of my boyfriend Ewan. Though these images I was trying to make him look feminine and challenge the male stereotype (which was hard since he has mustache). And the second series was a photo shoot I did completely spontaneously with Peter, after spending some time with the 'VICE' magazine which I picked up in London. They really do have some inspiring things in there haha!Some of them are too dark, and the quality's gone bad, I don't know why though, I need to buy a better camera! But yeah, I just quickly grabbed him, put my clothes on him, painted him silver and we when on a shoot, during which I had to climb a huge tree (the shot of peter lying on a wheel from above- i nearly fell off when i was taking that haha!) And then I threw in some photos of me from march so far, mostly with my webcam. 
Okay so I'm going back to finishing off this photography journal, for which i only need to write an evaluation and I'm done! Hope you enjoy!
note to self: this time of year is miserable, I am so broke I can't afford to buy ciggies, not even talking about lunch./
note to self : save up money for a crown
note to self: please find a job!

The dust is falling crazy

 Hi!
I have so much to say! This is going to be a really fat posed, so if you don't want to read it just look at the pictures :) I just looked at my last post and it barely says anything about my life. You don't know me, at all. All you can see are pictures, either of me or things around me and some crappy poems.
So... wow. Last week was half term (9-17th February), so I was off college all week. I was feeling ill all weekend but that didn't stop me going down Pippa's flat on Friday (yes, my friend has her own place! so grown up like), and then on Saturday I decided that home was boring so I got ready, smoked my weed and went to a gig till late. On the Sunday I got really really ill so I was tied down to the bed for three whole days. Thursday was Valentines Day so me and Ewan definitely needed to do something special. My mum let me meet up with him and stay down his house. I don't actually rememberer a lot of things from past two weeks, I'm really surprised I remember as much as I do haha.On Valentines Ewan met me at the bus stop, we went to get some weed from his friend and then just went to Ed's Diner, retro burger place in St Davids which was really cool, they were playing Elvis, the food was good, but the waitress was odd. We got milkshakes and burgers (I eat meat now! Its so good nom nom nom >< ) and then we realized we were about £3 pounds short of change, so we left all our change while the waitress was serving other people and stormed out quickly. I think we got ourselves wine and went down to his house. On Friday I think Louise and I met up and she stayed over my house, and we really sucked because we started watching Paul but fell asleep straight away with the lights on haha.
I spent Saturday and Sunday (16th & 17th of February) fully doing my photography coursework book, Sunday being really really stressful because I had to waste so much time going to the shop on Newport Road to get Silver pen which I ran out of for my book and then again to Tesco to get glue. I was meant to use that time to prepare fore my university interviews, because I hadn't done any sort of interview preparation. But I felt a bit more confident because I have already done an interview for Photography in Bristol on the 7th February which went okay and I've got a place!
On Sunday I went down Ewan's house because he was coming with me to London for two days to all my interviews. The first interview was on Monday for University of the Creative Arts, in Surrey just 30 minutes from London. It's a course for Fashion Promotion and Imaging and it's such a good course. I've  heard of people getting internships for Elle Magazine this year, so it's quite recognized. Ewan walked all the way up with me and then while I was having my interview managed to get smashed at a pub near the uni. The interview wasn't so bad. Me and around other 7 people got asked into a room with the course leader and present our work and ideas to the whole group. Then she'd ask all kinds of questions and that was all.  Everyone in the group were girls and there was like on guy in our group haha, (disappointing if I do go there). After my interview we got a train back to London, and we went to this diverse market to get food and then got wrecked. We stayed down his uncles house in Hackney, the coolest biggest house ever. He let us stay in a room with two huge beds, sofa and a kitchen. I wish I took some photos :( I haven't been taking that many lately, I don't know why. He's about 70 years old and knows everyone, doesn't have any children or a girlfriend and lives with these stoner students. His house had such a nice atmosphere, everyone was extra friendly, sharing stories around a table drinking fresh smelling coffee's or tea's, smoking and gathering around a huge map on the table. There were some foreigners so we'd all tell stories of where we come from.
Next day I had an interview for London College of Fashion, for Fashion Photography. SCARY! HAHAHAHA oh god I can't wait to tell you what happened, so crazy! It was in Shepherd's Bush, so East London. I left Ewan waiting for me downstairs in the college cafe, while I waited an hour and a half for my interview. There were around 6 other people there waiting to be interviewed, and we all ended up talking and making friends. We were the most talkative there. The other groups of people waiting to be interviewed for other fashion-y courses like make up/ styling or something like PR were completely quiet, you could feel tension.
Anyway I got called to the interview hall. I think the interview went well, but I don't really know. I was SO confident about my work, its unbelievable it took so much courage. Or maybe I was just that I was stoned, I didn't even blush or go red when I was talking. They seemed to like my work even though it's not directly all fashion work, its a little bit conceptual (or tries to be, its all bullshit anyway) and a little surrealistic, so they can either love it or hate it. It's so hard to get in, theres like 50 applicants per place.
By the way! On Wednesday night (just skipping forward for a bit, before I forget to tell you!) I found out that I had been offered a place for the Fashion Promotion and Imaging course in London. I am so chuffed, at least I know I've got a one decent uni choice.
Anyway, after I finished my interview on Tuesday at the Fashion college, it was funny. The leader woman asked me what my plans were for the beautiful day outside and I said I was to go and find an adventure. And after me and Ewan left the uni and lit a well needed spliff, I got caught and arrested. Ewan also got arrested for having weed on him. So we were both put in a car right outside the university, and the policemen drove us to the Shepherd's bush police station. We got stripped, checked, taken a photo of, gave our fingerprints, interviewed and put in a cell for 4 hours. We were put into separate cells, so I just fell asleep on the horrible cold cell stool slash bed with a dodgy mattress. There was my adventure. We were let out around 5 with a warning and we were starving because we hadn't eaten anything since Monday lunch time, so we got food and coffee and we laughed off everything. How crazy! After being imprisoned all day, we decided to be spontaneous, so we got booze, found a tube station and caught a random tube and explored for a bit. We got cold so went to some really ran down pub for the last hour we had in  London. Our bus was at 11pm. We got back at 2am, but went to Jack's house to get some weed because we just felt like it. Fell asleep around 4am in his bed and I had to wake up early to go college, for media which went fine. I was nervous about seeing everybody in college because of the holiday thing... It seemed fine though :) I went home, got my stuff ready, washed and got ready to stay down Ewan's again, because I had an another interview in London on Thursday morning. I had to catch a 4am bus Cardiff - London. We went to bed at around 1am, and... I missed my bus! The alarm didn't ring and I woke up at 7. So angry at myself! It was the University of the Arts London, so such a good place! And I missed it because i slept though it. I am so useless! Really didn't feel like wandering around all day, pretending I'm in London. I stayed in bed till Ewan got back from his appointment with his probation officer and then he said he'd pull a sicky in work and we can go get high down his best friends house. Well, thats what we did, and he had his band practice as well, so I just sat there and listened to them write and play their metal. 
When I got home I didn't feel like talking to anyone, so I just passed out on the family sofa, around 10pm and slept fully clothed till Friday noon. So I'd obviously missed college. That was yesterday I recall. Then I met up with Ewan again on Friday and we got some C. and stayed up late late, having so much much energy. We got so wasted it's unbelievable, we had a bottle of Captain Morgans as well which we drank. Anyway. Ah everything has turned so crazy! I feel like ringing up my best friend Jo and talking talking for hours. I know she's going though something as well, I saw her change her mind about uni on twitter. It's lame how I haven't spoken to her in two weeks but I know what shes up to from twitter. Ahh.. So yeah, everything is crazy, I feel lazy and I'm not going to college or doing my work whatsoever. Its so bad:/ I need to get back on my feet, start doing my work and stop messing about so much. Would be easier if all things bad weren't fun. But I promise, I'm going to do everything properly now, college comes first, get everything done and stop missing lessons! Find a job, make money and be sociable and go out with other people more, otherwise I know I might just get sucked into the stoner crowd and thats not me.


So here are some photos that I scraped out of my computer, just to have something to put up. the first two photos were from Louise's shoot of me for her photography project, I liked them and edited them. Hope thats okay Looo :)

 This is me, truly, yes

Louise over mine when we were doing a shoot (sort of behind the scenes)

And here are some of the outcomes.

Okay and here are some pictures of myself. You can see my hair colour changes loads hehe

A waste of sleep

Heya guys,
I am really extremely tired, as I've been going to bed at about 2/3 am every day for no apparent reason, staying out till about 10pm and then waking up again at 6.30. Kills me, truly does.
Today morning I was allowed to stay in bed for longer because I have the morning off at college and so I spent all my early hours listening to the sound of Bowie and the rain against my window, cuddled up with a mug of coffee and I did some photography work in my book.
I have been spending all my time outside home, in college and either filming for media, going on photoshoots or being with Ewan. I have spent so so so much time with him in the past 3 weeks, it's crazy but I still miss him all the time (hopefully he wont see this, because I wouldn't want him to know). We've been having endless movie nights with wine and cuddles, going out for coffees, cinema, walks, talks, and out to gigs. I've met his family and they're all great. His mum is an artist and his dad plays every instrument known. I've also met his little metalhead brothers, his friends and his awesome skinhead ex  girlfriend Lucy. I met his daughter Jaynie as well, who he babysits around twice a week. Now, you'd think that at 17, It would be so extremely weird and scary and unsettling to be seeing a guy with a daughter, but since he is 21 and his ex is also the same age, I don't think it's immature at all like I first thought. And his little girl is amazing, so cute. 5 months old little bubble aw. He loves her so much too.
On Friday we went to Fuel and this other place to listen to some music and then we left and I stayed down his house which is like literally in town haha! We stayed up till 4am watching films (and here he does this really annoying thing where he doesn't look at the tv but he stares at me o_o). So anyway, I woke up on Saturday morning to the most amazing feeling, wrapped in his arms him stroking my back. It was nice haha. I was allowed to have a lay in and we stayed in bed for ages trying to ease our hangovers. I went home around 12 and I was originally going to have my first day of -not doing anything- but I just couldn't help but get out my camera on this really sunny (too sunny if you ask me) November Saturday and phone up Louise. So we did a photoshoot later when it was dark, and I was quite pleased with the results, even though I only did about 100 photos. We got high on our way back and that is probably why I couldn't sleep till 3am again haha.
On Sunday  me and Louise did another photoshoot in Penarth which was really good, so much fun! I did filming for our media music video as well. We were down the Penarth beach in this isolated patch by a high cliff, past the huge rocks in PITCH  DARK! It was so scary because this man came our direction and sat down on this rock around 100 metres from us. I was shitting my pants man! I went to Ewans house again after we were done and afterwards when we were waiting for my bus he said things that made me feel scared and I went mad. Like an asshole (me not him). I was in one of those low low spirits where everything seemed like a waste and crushing into my face and I didn't know what the hell I was doing. 
Me and Josie talked lots yesterday on the phone and we met up for coffee on Sunday as well which was so nice, I feel like we've partly stitched ourselves back together if that makes sense. Not all the way but all the artificiality has disappeared and it feels much more natural.
Also! I got a job at Menkind, which is amazing because I can finally quit mcdonalds! Whoo. I have work experience in Buzz magazine next week though, so I'll have to let them know. It's crazy I can't wait for it! Im stressed anyway, I have so much work to do, the whole applying to uni deal is driving me out of my mind, everyone has already applied and are getting offers. I'm sending mine off tomorrow so fingers crossed I'll be in London or Brighton in September:L.

Anyway, I am actually glad that barely anyone I know reads this blog, I feel like I'm still keeping secrets from the world still. I don't want to be an open book, but I guess I am a little on here.

This is for my art project.

Beautiful Josey for media music video filming.

 Thats over Matts. And I don't actually remember standing in front of his mirror taking a photo! Thats why you should seee it. Because I have the most stupid face ever.

Ridiculously happy Matt

 Halloween.

This is the only photograph I have of Ewan- his hair isn't normally like that. That was my work:L

Here are some of me just now, sorry to trash this with my face but It's 2am, and I literally can't go to sleep so I had to do sumfing.

Louise from Saturday (sorry my blog just run out of image spaces, so I cant upload any more at the moment!)