20 August 2016

Between two polar opposites...

I'm sitting in my bed with my windows open. It's a grey and windy Saturday afternoon, my mood doesn't really oscillate towards either good or bad, it's just in the middle. Exactly, or kind of like the colour grey itself, that is made up of the mixture of black and white, of light and dark. Conjuring the two together you find yourself in the midst of grey, grey grey the most nonchalant of all colours. I am feeling quite apathetic today...Before going to bed I was very motivated to do some uni work today but when today's morning came (more like mid day..) I made myself a breakfast and a coffee and ate it in bed whilst watching John Oliver, and so it continued this way until now. I have been ignoring my phone today. It's one of those days, when I am not in the mood to speak to people. But Arianna called me two times which I ignored but then when I was bored of my own thoughts I gave her a call back, as I pictured her being quite lonely all by herself in her flat in Mile End. All the girls are in Italy at the moment and Arianna is such a people person, that one day without human contact could probably cause great damage or severe depressive mood. So I will go to meet her outside my work in London Fields and we will probably end up in my bar, drinking something alcoholic to cure our long-overdue hangovers. 
This windy day fits perfectly in sync with my mood. For that I am happy. I am feeling a little blue I guess, because its nearly the end of summer and once again I haven't done half of the things I thought I would. It's depressing, I haven't even finished a single book. I fluctuate between books, between stories and between characters. I am reading three books at the moment, two of which were suggested on my uni reading list and one is about the concept of seduction. The more I read the latter the less I understand exactly what it is but Baudrillard seems to connect it with death quite a lot which I do not understand. I understand that it is the combination of presence and absence and desire. Interestingly, sex is an act which causes the death of seduction... 
Tomorrow before going to work I will clean my room, reply to Louises letter and spend the day reading and making notes. I think I will write my dissertation about something related to feminism, or the confused state of feminism in contemporary society but somehow relate it to the body and artificiality. Haha, here you go, you know now that I have no clue, actually what I will write it about...
Anyways, here are some pictures from June 2016, from our uni trip to Whitstable :)

Ok bye,

Agnese