24 July 2012

worms on strings

It's late summer. 24th of July! I wonder how's the time passed so quickly and I have not moved an inch. Life seems to be running but I'm just here. I guess that sounds weird but that's how I feel. Everything is slow and fast at the same time, and I feel like I'm growing up too fast.
I'm sitting in my bed with a book ('Go Ask Alice' 1971 by Anonymous) chewing on tic tac fresh mint in the light of twilight. I don't even bother turning up the lights because I like it when I sit in my bed for ages reading and without ever realising it's pitch dark outside, and then when I finally turn the lights back on I'm astonished how I've managed to read in such circumstances. 
I haven't been writing much, not because much hasn't been happening, but because I haven't had that writing spirit recently. However now it's extremely high, which is why I'd like to use  lots of sophisticated and grown up words haha. Erm... The book I'm reading is really sad and eye opening, and I'm almost finished with it. But because it's so good, I don't want to finish it. It's actually a biography so the ending isn't cliché at all. In fact the girl who wrote it died 3 weeks after finishing it.
Yesterday I went to Penarth with Josey and Rhianned, and we went charity store shopping. We found lots of awesome things and I wanted to get loads but unfortunately I only bought one t-shirt (£3.50) because apparently I only had a fiver on my credit card. Josey got lots of cheap, lovely things though. We got ourselves icy coffee drinks from starbucks and went to the Penarth pier. On our way there (which by the way is extremely close to the town!) we walked through Alexandria park. It was so magical there haha, like butterflies and little dark paths and very quiet and eerie. We sat down on this broken bench and talked for ages about stuff. The beach was great, really nice.I mean the water wasn't blue or anything but it was just genuinely nice. The blue sky and children running around with ice creams. Afterwards we got a bus back to Cardiff and went to Bute park, where we met up with a couple of people. It was really nice and chilled. Then other people started arriving, drunks and potheads, and the conversations got better. Later on people got alcohol but I didn't have any money, and I felt kind of down (not because I didn't have money ofc) and Lewis threw a bottle at my head and I started tearing! Imagine, how embarrassing. I'm a little softie. Anyhow obviously not because of the pain but because of something else.  Maybe it's my parents? Or my family? I don't know. I guess things aren't going exactly perfect but I think we have all silently agreed to ignore it. I guess I can say this because most of my views are from America and I'm assuming not many people read this.  BOOH. Anyhow, right, around 10pm we were leaving and the park was locked! So we had to climb this gate which was fun. We sang songs, and I listened to drunk Josie tell everyone she loves them, soo funny : D
Today I woke up early downstairs on the massive sofa all by myself, and the weather outside was amazing! It was 8am, and I had to get up and get ready for work.I had a ciggie, coffee and I read my book on the bus. Mc Donalds gave me a 45 min break after the first hour and half, which I didn't want but I guess my feet didn't really mind. So I changed, got my bag, grabbed a smoothie and went to the grass patch by the Castle. It was the best break I've ever had. I lied on my back in the sun, reading glorious book and listening to music, drinking the best smoothie ever and smoking a cigarette. It was over tooo soon. This goth guy in work really hates me! He thinks I don't know shit about mc donalds because I keep mixing up what's in what sandwich ( you know like whether a filet o fish has lettuce or not, or weather there are pickles in a quarter pounder). So basically thinks I'm dumb shit. I've never liked mc donalds very much and I most definitely have not had all their foods. Bleh.
Anyhoooo, I've got work tomorrow till 10pm! And then the next day, it's the same thing. Ugh, on the sunniest days of the year when people are having bbq's beach days and boat rides and picnics. I'm not kidding they're doing this all during these three days in which I happen to have work. 
I'm going cinema with Peter tomorrow, so see ya.
p.s it's pitch dark outside!

11 July 2012

brand new

It's 00.30 and I feel just a little fucking sad. I'm listening to some really sad piano shit and its making me tear up a bit and think why am I even here? I just wanted to message some one who used to be important  to me a long time ago, but I know they've moved on and perhaps I don't even exist in their memory any more. And so I stopped writing, erased my message and turned that music down and decided to never write again. That may seem sad but I think It's easier that way anyway. I'm texting with Josey about how amazing it would be to run away, maybe France, maybe Italy. Anywhere but here, in this bitch hole  I guess. (anyhoo thats obviously not happening right now, just daydreaming haha!)
Tomorrow is my taster day for St Davids college and I feel shit about it. I'm going to wake up extra early, wash my hair get ready and go. After we're going to cinema with Jo I think. 
Last Thursday me, Pippa Ashleigh and Josey went to Bogiez night club and saw this metal gig, that was okay, their screaming was a bit crap. The place was empty anyway, but we got very wasted and it didn't really seem important at the time. I remember Pippa falling down over her goth boots and pulling me down with her which was funny. Also I remember, and have evidence, of texting this guy I like, saying we should hang out, but fuck this he's not putting any effort into it, I'm not going to beg a guy to come for a walk you know?
Then on Friday I baked a cake for Josie :3
On Saturtday I went over her house extra early and we decorated for her party and got ready. It was the greatest birthday party I remember in a long time, we got a little tipsy, smashed a pinata, there was really good music and people and the atmosphere was great.  That night I crashed at Pippa's house which was an hour walk from Jo's house (we walked at 12, wasn't fun I assure you. I kept falling over ) . Slept on the floor. Woke up early on Sunday morning and went home because I had work later at 11. 
Sunday evening Batoul came down! We went to Shisha with a couple people and me and Bats crushed down Jo's house where I again slept on the floor -_- Next morning (this is Monday now) we had a morning in, we watched films and had food and that is all we did. She stayed down mine on Monday, but because she was ill, she fell asleep on my bed, bless her. Today, Tuesday, we went over Cait's house to have a little get together and so much drama formed! I'm not even going to say anything, because we'll it's not for public eye. Me and Josie spend 5 hours in town. We went to Starbucks, and talked for about an hour and then we walked and talked and I comforted her a little. Got home around 8, watched TV and now I'm going to bed,gotta wake up early tomorrow.
I can't be bothered writing any more. This has taken me 15 minutes! I'm really sleepy, but writing on here for a bit calmed me down and made me feel happier. There's photos from Josephine's  birthday which is obviously Wild West theme dress up! The first one is me and her (:

03 July 2012

Bottle of tears and bitches.

Today is another quite a boring day, but I'm managing to make it bearable. No one is home except my dad, who is upstairs sleeping so I'm quite on my own. Woke up around 10am, watched some episodes of the new show 'Whitney', had a cup of tea with milk, made a bath, and enjoyed it with a bit of classic music. haha, yeah classic music. I downloaded the soundtracks from a french film 'Amelia' and they're really beautiful tracks. I then hair dried my head, got my favorite jumper and socks. Got my laptop, books, water, phone, a CD and a magazine and departed downstairs, where I am now listening to AC DC  while my TV is on mute, just so I don't feel as alone. Planning to read my harry potter book today instead of lying on the sofa all day watching movies (which I'll post underneath so you know what I'm watching- they're all really great movies and I recommend all of them!)
 The only things I have to do are on weekend when I have to go to work, and that's only for 4 hours a day. I'm getting paid for my first 2 weeks, or 20 hours of work that I have done so far (5 shifts) which I think is about £94 pounds. haha. That will buy me a fancy dress costume ( theme is 'Wild West'), for Josie's birthday  dress up party on Saturday, plus present, plus alcohol for the weekend, plus for the little-bit crappy gig I'm going to on Thursday with Pippa, Asheligh and hopefully Josie will come too. Oh, (yeah I hope Jo isn't reading this) I'm baking her a cake on Friday as a part of the present, because I don't know what to give her yet. I've never baked a cake so that should be fun (if I'm going wrong I'll be sure to ask for my mums help here)
Okay so here you go, images of my life...

My messy draws.. You can obviously tell I'm the messiest person you've met.

So, here's my bed and just other images I've taken today.

My Mc'Donalds cap/badge, music that I'm listening to today (found these dc's in my dad's collection) and myself and oh

Tacky gossip magazine, I'm going to read........... I look so extremely happy.. 

And I'm sure you didn't want to see my face, but WWAH here you go.

And movies/ shows I've been watching this week.
Starting with the films:
1)The Holiday (rom-com obviously)

2)Ghost World (comedy-drama)
 3)Ice Age. Obviously....

 4)The Greates (drama, this was randomly on TV)

5)The Virgin Suicides (American drama, great weird film)

6) Groundhog Day (comedy, who hasn't seen this?!) 

7)Heathers (dark comedy-teen-)
This was a really weird weird film with lots of murder and suicide. Love Winona Ryder with my life, she's probably my favorite actress. 

8)Juno (comedy, teen-pregnancy, yey)

9) Girl, Interrupted (drama). This is my favorite film of all times, though not for everyone's taste. 

And shows... I certainly prefer 'Don't trust the Bitch in Apartment 23' haha it's quite great.