27 September 2011

This, is about you

Okay I'm just doing my Media homework. I actually have quite a bit of homework piled up. Two drawings, and analysis in Art. I have to find and analyse 3 landscape photographers work, have to analyse the trailer of the Independence day and lastly i have to do some worksheets for my WBQ. I have film tomorrow and I'm hoping Dave wont give us much to do. 
I gotta do Media for tomorrow so I'm gonna do it now.
You know two door cinema club is quite good. I thought its a bit overrated because they post it on tumblr like every five minutes but nooey.
Haha i got sold cigarettes in that shop by my college today. Lucky me.
I was fifteen minutes late for my Media lesson this morning but oh well. I just have to make sure im not late again. Anyway, we had a half an hour break around 10.30 and so me Alice and Holly went outside for a cigarette and then that guy I've been looking at for past couple of days came up and hugged me and said 'Gonna hold her real tight' to Alice, or something like that. Then I asked him how his gig was and stuff. um. I then went to AJ's coffee shop across the street and got regular Americano coffee with hot milk. I came back and I had to stop twice to talk to Ash and Jordan and by the time I made it back to smoking area, Alice and Holly were gone and that guy was sitting on his own. When I was going over to him, his very pretty girl friend came along and I just kind went and stood by myself in the farthest corner. Thank god Ashleigh cam along and I could just stand there and finish my coffee. 
I want to write something. Get my emotions out.
Ough... Ive been feeling sick of life lately. I hate eating somehow. I just don't like food. I pretend I like food when I'm around people, but I don't actually enjoy it. I think I've lost my appetite in the last couple of months. And I am really, and I mean really lazy to cook. Coffee is real nice though, keeps you warm inside.

okay some shit i wrote i think sometime Friday at 2am. This came to my head while standing outside in my garden and looking at things that at first sight you cannot see but as your eyes get used to dark you can spot very well. naah

Feel the gentle breeze on my skin
Breathe in breathe out
Look in the sky and find the brightest star
Breathe in breathe out
Your eyes, your sad looking lonely eyes
Breathe in breathe out
The shape of your lips pulled in a half smiling shape
Breathe in breathe out
A sharp feeling in my chest
Breathe In breathe out
Close my eyes and think of your face
I breathe in Breathe out
Wrap the blanket tighter around my shoulders
Breathe in breathe out
Thinking of you
Sip sip the cold coffee
Breathe the cigarette in breathe out
Wind whirling, half dancing around the trees
Breathe in breathe out
I look around
I breathe in slowly, In and then out
And I can see your face
Again and again in my mind
Breathe in
Slowly open the door
I breathe out one this last time.

Do you ever get that 'I want to stay under my bed covers this whole day' feeling? I'm kinda feeling like it these days. And by these days I meant Monday and today. 
I hate the sun, go away.

Some days, are particularly unproductive

ok so here's my week alone in pictures. was pretty crap to be honest, its not that much fun and stuff...
Sorry im in my sleeping jumpers all the time, thehehe. 
This is all different days if im not mistaken.

Ginger fairy and a blonde evil kid

20 September 2011

Stuck elevators are scarry

Nothing special to say... I'm just bored of writing my media essay. I started at 6.30 and its 7.30 now and I've only written 95 out of 600 words. I'm so slow. No obviously i would have finished it if I didn't go on facebook and and other stupid social sites. Okay bye I'm off now, going to finish my homework go me. ;D

weirdos on the streets

This is day one of me being by myself and i kinda like it. I've moved downstairs because I have a TV, table, bed, toilet and kitchen here soo its much better. It's kind of lonely being by yourself but I feel so independent. I get to go Tesco and shit :D okay. Um. 
I'm sitting in bed with a knitted jumper and how socks and I'm watching Garfield. It's 00.30 atm, and I have tomorrow's morning off, because my Media teacher has a meeting or something.
Today was okay, I had my first Art&Design lesson. Well basically what happen today was at 05.30 i woke up and i threw on my skinny pants and a hood and walked my lovelies to the bus stop and my mums last words were: 'Please don't get any piercings while I'm away, I'll check!' And that's how she went. It's pretty funny taking that I don't even have any piercings, except my ears and a stretcher in my ear. 
Well then I went back to sleep at around 6 and I forgot to set my alarm... I woke up at 8.30 and then I realised that I have college, so I just threw some clothes on grabbed my bag and with yesterdays makeup I ran to the stop and cached a 45. I got off in Trowbridge and run to the college. I then spent like 15 minutes looking around because I coudn't find the art studio. Bleshhhedf. Well I found it and spent the next 3 and half hours doing live drawing of a sculpture. I bought a sketchbook. At break, I didn't know anyone and I was in a terribly bad mood so I didn't speak to anyone, I just went to cafeteria and got myself a cup of tea. Then a Swedish girl Courtney (from Stockholm) sat next to me in cafeteria and she told me how she's an exchange student here and how it's all awesome and she's got a job in Hollister's clothes store. Umm, my class finished at 1 (and normally classes finish at 12 and then you have an hour of lunch break) and so i didn't have lunch, I ran to the stop and cached a bus into town. I got off @ City Road campus and literally flew to my Photography class where I got lectured how its bad to be so late. nevermind. 
I only have WBQ (Welsh Baccalaureate) and that's it. I don't know what I shall be doing tomorrow. I don't want to come home straight form college... haha Josey is coming down my house either this Wednesday or Friday, so yey.  And we're supposed to be going to a gig thing on Friday too (they play metal, rock  and indie music) and I might ask Ashleigh, Jade and Pippa to come down my house on Friday too, so we could go to the gig together & sleepover down mine. Jade is 18 so we'll have no problem getting alcohol.
Okay bye. 

There are so many of me, Jo didn't put most of her pictures up :| I'm going to hit her with a pillow

17 September 2011


hello (: 
I'd like to put up pictures of somthing that i've photographed, but I haven't really taken photographs of anything.
Um I went to Topshop with my mum yesterday and we got me a pair of dark green skinny jeans and then we went to H&M and got me a grey hoodie/jacket. So yey finally I got myself something new. But I can seriously say I love ALL the Sweet&Sour (I think that's what they're called) tops.. They are just what i love tops to be like. Black, cute and just awesome. I think I could quit smoking for them ^_^
I'm finally going to volunteer today after like a month and half break. I love volunteering because you kind of get to have your time to think. Because when I volunteer I just sit at the till and watch people pass by the shop and it's kind of nice knowing they can't see me. 
Tehe, I'm dying my hair right now, it's going to be blonde lol. The way it was befor but with no roots toots. Mjau, bye ^_^

12 September 2011

Piercing I want

Hello there. (:
Well my weekend was boring... Saturday was okay because Peter's friend Peter came over. He happens to be Louise's brother tehe and so she tagged along and we payed xbox. mm, like Black Ops Zombies, just Black Ops and DJ hero. Lamer i know we should get a life hehe. I skateborded and Louise skated down Arman's house to see if hes there but he wasn't so we called him up and he said he was down Lloyds, so he'll just come later. Well when came me and  Louise had a go at his unicycle while those three sat inside playing xbox. Peter and Louise went home 9ish and Arman stayed for a bit longer I think half 9.
Sunday was sleep sleep eat kind of day. Um I didn't even play guitar, nor did i draw anything.  Shame.
Today was the first day of college. I had the whole morning off so I went in 12ish and met up with Ashleigh, Jade and Pippa and this other girl whose name i can't remember. At 1 I had photography and there are no boys in my class its all girls. They are all older than me and it seems as if I won't ever have anything in common with them xD  There are couple of nice people, but we'll see. I don't really care though tehe.

Piercings are £10 at Blue Banana and I want to get my collar bones done but I'm not brave enough. Looks quite painful xD
Okay I gotta run to Tesco to meet my mum, we're going food shopping ^_^

09 September 2011

big stars

Okay I'm literally falling asleep here, downstairs but um.. I can put up some pictures from my first days from college? Oh by the way college's fun, I like it so much more than school. Although, I haven't actually started my studies xD We had our induction day and thank god I'm friends with 5 girls from our form. Okay i cant be asked writing any more, so here are some photos of Wednesday when we went to vintage & dress up shops after collage. Star wars and cheap 'criminal damage' clothes. Oh we also went to this cool comic shop. anyways.
 Please people be careful and don't die. Because I saw a dream where my tooth fell out in my hand and it was all 'no big deal' until i asked my mum what it means and she said someone is going to die. So.. Love you.
-listening to 'Parkway Drive- Dead Man's chest- alone downstairs.

03 September 2011

him and her

Yesterday Went to Pontypridd to see The King Blues, so I met up with all the girls and the boys at Cathays Trains Station and we cached a train down to Pontypridd. We couldn't find the place so we kind of got lost but then at the end we found it. We got our tickets signed by the Lead singer and got pictures, so yay. Also Attack Attack played for half an hour, I enjoyed that haha. Then at around 11.00 pm we all ran to the train station to catch the last train. Arman gave me a lift home, and we went to big Tescos in Pengam Green and I got free sushi : D ha. And then I was home by 12.30am and Arman unicycled with me down to my house.

I don't really want to talk about today, I got ready and left my house with Peter and we went to the Gay Festival (can;t remember the actual name of the festival) and I said hi to the boys and on my way to see my mum I saw Tia and Katie. That's it. I walked around the stage and the little shops looking for Jo and Jamila and the others and I was wet and I had no credit, so I just walked down to the bus stop and went home. Yes my day was this stupid, nevermind. Thank god i didn't dress up as a box : |

02 September 2011

hot and funny

I LOVE this photo of me and Denija :3333Gotta admit, she's hot.


i woke up this morning with an idea of drawing. it was a skeleton with black tears going down its body, maybe it was blood, and a black hole instead of his heart ( as if it was ripped out) and it is holding his heart in his skeletal hand. i was trying to draw it and it looks so shit that i almost started crying. I'm never going to get in an art course. blaahhgfhgertyer. anyway. yesterday i was drawing a drummer sitting by his drum kit and it looks pretty good. i will post it here later. But anyway. Nobodies home and I'm all alone and I'm about to watch NY ink. I watched half the season yesterday and today I think I'm gonna finish it. It's so good, awwhhh. I love it.
The King Blues today with Josie, Alika, Arman, Lloyd, Caitlin and Charl. I don't actually have a ticket yet so I might end up not going but hopefully they do tickets on the door or something. I shall put up a craapy web camera photo of myself,so you dont get bored

01 September 2011

my midnight thoughts: brain damaging

I changes the name and design of this blog because I got really tired of the 'This Is a Secret' and it's kind of a boring too, so I came up with ''Infinite Mourning'' nice isn't it? And the unicorn looks awesome agree yes :L okays, I'm going downstairs for a quick cigarette in the dark. Maybe a rabbit will eat my sight and it will all be black and I won't be able to find my way back so I'll bleed to death on the ground and my hair will curl into my head and out through my eye-holes and I'll be buried under a pile of stars... Maybe. Maybe I fantasise too much. 
Haha I have a matching illustration for you ^_^ just imagine her blonde and it'll be me, I promise.