wearing out

i feel really weird. like I'm empty. i don't know whats wrong with me.this is the second time this month when i have the feeling. it kinda burns inside my stomach and my chest feels dead. and empty. I've been fighting with crying this whole day and huh... in not giving up. I think the relationship with my mum is falling apart. She usually begs me to come downstairs because I'm always locked in my room. And then today she has a day off and i try spending as much time as i can with her and basically all I've done is made her really angry (it's something i said) and upset. and she told me like twice to get away and that she does not want to see me. I guess I'm a horrible person. i don;t know. I'm jealous of other people when they have all the things i don't. not gonna mention what it is i am jealous of. oh god my eyes are full.sorry i give up. don't tick this as depressive anyone or I'll hate you.