26 April 2011

spillers records

hey i do not want for my blog to be depressing, but seriously I've got problems. i cannot say anything because someone will throw me in the mental house but I'm holding on I'm holding on fine. today was just another day. better than the day before, Monday to be precise was one of the most horrible days in my whole bloody life. i did so many things that i have a prove of and i have to look a it every day in regret and disgust in myself. My mum will help me, she understands. I've told her everything. She's like my best friend.
I have some poems on my phone but they're all from like yesterday and Sunday. depressive. yesterday, to keep myself alive (literally, there was something in my head telling me to do stupid things) I knew there had to be someone around me , ye i was home alone, so i rang Batoul, she didn't answer. I left a message. I called Josie. She didn't answer, I'm assuming i have the wrong number. But i left a message anyway because i had to keep myself busy until my parents come home. So i rang Arman and he said it's OK for me to go down his house. Boy's are so easy going, he didn't even ask questions he just carried on playing his x-box, while i did some art work to keep me calm. well this was all yesterday. I met up with Batoul today, i didn't feel empty today, not really. just a little bit but i can cope with that. She came down my house and we went for a ride with bikes. She's also got shit in her life, bless her. We were like two depressing people going on bikes and trying to be happy. I will go school tomorrow, just because it'll keep me alive. No more posts like these, huh? I wont write in here unless I'm totally recovered from this shit called depression. I'm going to have a cup of coffee and then learn a page or two from science book, because i haven't done a shit today.

2 comments:

  1. i know this is going to be no help but I just want to let you know I am here if you need anyone to talk to or anything, I know we're not that close but you can count on me aggie I dont want to see you upset xxxxx

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  2. you dont have my right number :'( omg i wish i could of answered! email your number to me via facebook when you can<3

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