Strangeness of Time

So tired. All my bones really hurt and I feel cold and ill. My room seems so strange as well, I haven't been spending enough time in here, so it's de-aggied and its really plain tidy and cold. i like it but it seems changed. 

Last night me, Pippa and Ashleigh all went to bogiez and i was off my face from only three glasses of whiskey and coke. I couldn't walk straight, I head-banged like crazy and roared my face off at the last band that were playing there. I hadn't eaten all day because I've just been feeling sick all the time.It is probably the reason I got so drunk though. After the gig we went to Burger Kind and waited for Ewan to come pick me up. He even talked to Pippa, which was a first. I was so nervous because she used to hate him but she seemed to have a decent conversation with him which made me happy because I want him to be friends with my friends. 
I missed college in the morning because I couldn't bear it. It was awful, I just turned around and went home. And then around 2, I decided that I can't just waste my day away so I went in for Photography at 3, which ended up being a waste of time anyway. 
So yeah. oh I have so much more to say! My fingers are failing typing right now so I'm going to go to bed and tell the rest tomorrow.
Today I got a horseshoe septum ring, and I just attempted to take some photos on my web camera, so I'll just put them up. I'm going to bed in a minute, so It's just me in my pjs, without any makeup. Managed to look happy in the first picture hah

look so grumpy in the last two pictures :(

Blur of time

(Picture form Turkey- I didn't know what photographs I wanted to post so this is what you get..)

I don't know how I'm still getting views on this blog? Haven't posted since August because life has been too... Lifey. I guess it's time because 1st of November seems like a good day to make a little entry.

So this won't be one of those posts  where I beautifully try and explain every detail of what has happened because there has been too much happening and it might get a little hard to write it all in this little meaningless blog which people shouldn't read as it doesn't educate them or entertain them. So let me begin (I feel like some kind of superhero at this point!)

September

September was pretty boring, just me shaping different ideas and morals in my head, falling in love a little and falling out of love and all that bullshit. I had a crush on so many people it's unbelievable, probably because I haven't been in a relationship since for-ever. Whatever. Guess it was because I haven't actually liked anyone for years and now it's like BHAM I like this and that and humanity is just beautiful, I want to be everyones friend and lover and be everywhere at the same time. While at the same time I just want to be locked in my own room, hiding under duvet covers.
I used about 5 rolls of film on taking pictures of unimportant average days and people which I cannot see because it's too damn expensive to develop them and print them. What else. I went out a couple of times to Bogiez with Pippa, and the Full Moon Club with Jos, and I'm pretty sure we went to the pub a couple of times. Thats it, lovely. Like I said I had such a crush on this boy, but he didn't make a move. I was a little high in my media class and he sat by me and I remember I could just feel particles becoming tenser and tenser, and there was such tension in the air. It's stupid how he liked me too, but nothing ever happened because life is shit like that sometimes.

October

Okay so the begging of October I went on a holiday to Turkey, which was really nice but it lacked adventure and exploring so much! Everyone is too lazy to do things I swear. I feel like I should find a soul-mate who will travel everywhere with me, find new places go on everlong adventures and whatnot. Anyway apart form my unfulfilled wishes and daydreams, Turkey was genuinely nice. Nice streets, nice hotel, nice pool, nice seaside, awful men, nice shops, nice hotel room. It was also nice that we got unlimited alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks anywhere. Met a couple of photographers on the way too, one of them which I hated as he asked me to come down to the beach later he can photograph me. Ive seen his photos too, half naked, baked ladies laying in the beach. What?! I said no, and no, but It was awkward because for the rest of the holiday I always had to walk past his booth to get to the canteen or the pool or anywhere else for that matter. 

Middle October I went to Bogiez with Pippa. We moshed so much I couldn't hold my head properly. I don't know if I'm self destructive but I felt like I wanted to get in the middle of a mosh pit and get my face wrecked into pieces haha. Okay well you know, not really. I think it was the antitoxins. Anyway I met this guy who asked my number.

Saturday 13th  was Matts birthday (he's Pippas boyfriend) and everyone gathered in his little dark flat doing all sorts of intoxicating things. I once again had that sad kind of high where I sat looking at everyone. The guy was there. He kept trying to speak to me but the most I could do was half smile to everything he said. Anyway he was an asshole anyway taking by the things he said after I left, which all involved some kind of form of fucking, me or just in general. Maybe it was the magical mushroom. I don't know. So I'm glad I left. 

Halloween was fine, I went to the pub crawl. And realized some things and I lost some things but I wouldn't cry because I don't want to and because, really I think it's all for the good! I don't feel sorry for myself at all. Everyone gets bored of everyone eventually, it had to happen. 

So on this sad Thursday you'd call a post halloween hangover day, I am sitting in my own room and working on this little art project of mine. Making a house out of a box haha. See you soon.

brand new

It's 00.30 and I feel just a little fucking sad. I'm listening to some really sad piano shit and its making me tear up a bit and think why am I even here? I just wanted to message some one who used to be important  to me a long time ago, but I know they've moved on and perhaps I don't even exist in their memory any more. And so I stopped writing, erased my message and turned that music down and decided to never write again. That may seem sad but I think It's easier that way anyway. I'm texting with Josey about how amazing it would be to run away, maybe France, maybe Italy. Anywhere but here, in this bitch hole  I guess. (anyhoo thats obviously not happening right now, just daydreaming haha!)

Tomorrow is my taster day for St Davids college and I feel shit about it. I'm going to wake up extra early, wash my hair get ready and go. After we're going to cinema with Jo I think. 

Last Thursday me, Pippa Ashleigh and Josey went to Bogiez night club and saw this metal gig, that was okay, their screaming was a bit crap. The place was empty anyway, but we got very wasted and it didn't really seem important at the time. I remember Pippa falling down over her goth boots and pulling me down with her which was funny. Also I remember, and have evidence, of texting this guy I like, saying we should hang out, but fuck this he's not putting any effort into it, I'm not going to beg a guy to come for a walk you know?
Then on Friday I baked a cake for Josie :3

On Saturtday I went over her house extra early and we decorated for her party and got ready. It was the greatest birthday party I remember in a long time, we got a little tipsy, smashed a pinata, there was really good music and people and the atmosphere was great.  That night I crashed at Pippa's house which was an hour walk from Jo's house (we walked at 12, wasn't fun I assure you. I kept falling over ) . Slept on the floor. Woke up early on Sunday morning and went home because I had work later at 11. 

Sunday evening Batoul came down! We went to Shisha with a couple people and me and Bats crushed down Jo's house where I again slept on the floor -_- Next morning (this is Monday now) we had a morning in, we watched films and had food and that is all we did. She stayed down mine on Monday, but because she was ill, she fell asleep on my bed, bless her. Today, Tuesday, we went over Cait's house to have a little get together and so much drama formed! I'm not even going to say anything, because we'll it's not for public eye. Me and Josie spend 5 hours in town. We went to Starbucks, and talked for about an hour and then we walked and talked and I comforted her a little. Got home around 8, watched TV and now I'm going to bed,gotta wake up early tomorrow.

I can't be bothered writing any more. This has taken me 15 minutes! I'm really sleepy, but writing on here for a bit calmed me down and made me feel happier. There's photos from Josephine's  birthday which is obviously Wild West theme dress up! The first one is me and her (:

Craving creativity

Something Jade drew for Ashleigh- the five of us!
Me on the left, then Pippa, Ashleigh (middle), Jade and Arnisa (right)

 Ok hmmm. hahaha. Oh god, OK, here is my face. It is odd, I must warn you :L
Right now-

 

Yesterday

The day before yesterday

Purple Fringe, Go Me

HAHA, yey I dyed my fringe purple <3

And I was a bit bored just now so I decided to give my fringe a little cute, because firstly, it was a bit dead, and split and all that. Secondly, it was too long and puffy, I gotta admit, I didn't look right. And I am sorry, I just took these photos after a shower and with no make up on so I don't look very pretty *laughs* Also I apologise that I look so weird in them, I can't help it! I just can't look at a web cam with a straight face. :3
Hmmm. I think I'll put up my other photographs tomorrow (not the web cam ones, the ones from school) because I don't like loading my blog full of photographs on the same day.
Anyway. Today was really really cold, and I froze, not nice. I got off at Tesco to get my tobacco and for the first time ever I didn't get served in St Mellon's! I was really pissed off, pardon me, but I was late for my lesson, I was freezing, I didn't get my tobacco and it started hailing- I was not happy. It was so nice though, apart from the cold. It was really dark outside and at 9am it felt like 5pm, which if you hadn't noticed is really dark!
I was a bit late for my film class, but because it's the last session with Dave, he let us watch a film. So yes, we watched Submarine. It is beautiful, you should really watch it. It is a Welsh film (proud) and its been filmed Penarth which technically is in Cardiff, and Swansea. Anyway, it was a really low budget film, but I think it was magic. The cinematography of it is brilliant. Oh fuck, pins and needles in my left leg OUCH. Literally can't move it.. Aw whatever, I'll just leave it for a minute.
We finished out class an hour early so me and my friend Matt, went to AJ's and got ourselves a hot chocolate, yum. We chilled there for a bit and Pippa joined us at twelve. I was third wheeled again. I always hang with them in AJ's, so I don't feel the awkwardness of the two of them making sexual jokes and kissing, haha. 
So then after two nice hours sat at AJs I went to my media class and I was just basically filling up myself with tons of free chocolate that Naomi (out media teacher) brought us. After 20 minutes she let us go and gave us homework to do over half term, year so basically 2 magazine covers. And A storyboard fro Film, I forgot to mention.
Awhhh, I'm craving a cigarette, so goodnight. :p

Two lovebirds in a deathbed

Hey.

Well it's going pretty well with me, I'm all happy and ready to go. Be an Agnese_GOGO.

I am having doubts about life. I feel like I'm going to end up an unsuccessful old woman with no love in a nowhere house drinking tea with no sugar. I am thinking maybe to swap all my subjects to ones like Psychology, Business and English. Should I? Maybe I should. My Photography teacher hates me and I figure I'm really crap at photography somehow. If I get my photos on my USB i could post them up here. 

I haven't blogged in a while, I could fill you in a bit.

Last weekend I went to Jamilas birthday party and it was in Newport, well basically I got lost on my own in Newport and couldn't find my way anywhere. Jamila called me and told me her boyfriends mum would come pick me up so I just lied on a bench and looked at the stars. 

Down the empty house we watched xfactor for an hour until Arman got there and then everyone got drunk. I got drunk for the first time of my life and I couldn't keep my balance and I felt like I loved literally loved everyone. I know that I kissed Jo on lips because she was wondering what I'm like, so haha,  we kissed. Tehe I just realised, everyone in college tells me, I have to cosiest hugs ever and Jo told me I'm a really good kisser and Pippa form college said that If she was a lesbian then I would be her first choice. Is there something homosexual about me? Oh yes and Alika. said something too. I dont like drinking really, next time im not going to drink :L I prefer smoking, gee i smoked so much last saturtday. i was like i a machine XD

Nevermind. Well basically then me and Josie went upstairs because we were tired so we just had a nap in the bed upstairs and then the guy who lives in the house came into the bedroom (21, Dave) and started hitting on Josephine and he lied next to us. Horny old man :L Altogether I slept on the floor without a pillow and without a duvet because Arman also joined us in the end and it was too sticky and hot. I lost my top so had to go in the pajama top.On Sunday i slept until 6pm.

Harrison asked me to come to his gig again this time it's in Cardiff in Buffalo Bar. They're called Raphealites, i think, not sure. But there's a really good band playing with them on Friday too, they're called HOLD YOUR HORSE IS.  I am going and I am taking Josephine with me! Tomorrow I'm going down hers to get ready and then we're going together. Then we are going down mine because she's sleeping over. On Saturday I am (I think) going to a different gig with girls from college. And on Sunday I'm planning on staying home and finishing off my artwork because i have quite a lot piled up. I would have done it today but i couldn't find anything for my research on Internet so I'm borrowing a book in library. 

I stretched my ear to 8mm yesterday with no pain and struggle, go me!

SORRY I WAS BORED ^_^

uuh and that at the top is me in the 'BAY SHOOT' with my photography group.

big stars

Okay I'm literally falling asleep here, downstairs but um.. I can put up some pictures from my first days from college? Oh by the way college's fun, I like it so much more than school. Although, I haven't actually started my studies xD We had our induction day and thank god I'm friends with 5 girls from our form. Okay i cant be asked writing any more, so here are some photos of Wednesday when we went to vintage & dress up shops after collage. Star wars and cheap 'criminal damage' clothes. Oh we also went to this cool comic shop. anyways.

 Please people be careful and don't die. Because I saw a dream where my tooth fell out in my hand and it was all 'no big deal' until i asked my mum what it means and she said someone is going to die. So.. Love you.

-listening to 'Parkway Drive- Dead Man's chest- alone downstairs.